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August 10 Riddle-Me-ReHere's a riddle for you.
It's not a "who am I?" or a "how do you?" riddle, it's more of a "what the fuck?" riddle.
I was on Windows Messenger tonight, chatting with a couple of mates. One about his night out, the other about .... well, I won't say what me and her were chatting about. That's not important.
Anyway, all of a sudden, at about 1.30am, a box pops up with this other girl I sometimes speak with, saying "Yo".
I respond politely, and she proceeds to tell me that she's been at a mate's house looking at old pictures with me in some of them. Fair enough. So, I thought, since she's brought it up I'll ask her something. I was keen to know why this person, who she'd been with this evening, has refused to acknowledge that I even exist for the past 5 months. The last time we spoke, everything was fine and we had the usual laugh etc... then nothing.... for months. She's ignored my emails, my messages, she's denied my friends requests on Facebook, and basically shunned me completely. As far as I know, we haven't fallen out. She's just chosen not to acknowledge me anymore.
Now, when I asked this other bird why she's denying I exist, she says, "I've told you already. I'm sick of telling you. I'm not discussing her with you"...... this last bit, after SHE started the convo talking about her.
(I've paraphrased, but all those points were present in the chat).... oh, and then she fucks off!!!
So, my riddle for you is this;
Is it just me, or would most people find that confusing?
Answers, in braille, to;
The Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Butlins Skyline Caravan Village
Skegness
Lincolnshire
PE25 1NJ
Results will be announced whenever I can be arsed.... cos quite frankly, I seem to be losing interest in this.
It's purely curousity that I can't shake off. There's much more important shit going on in my life right now. I've been seeing a skin specialist about a suspicious mole for the past six months or so. I have another appointment with her in September, when hopefully she'll be able to say whether or not it's benign.
I have a six year old nephew who's just been diagnosed with diabetes.... just like his brother and sister. I have a mum with Alzhiemers, who's slowly driving my dad to an early grave along with her. I haven't had more than a couple of jobs this whole year. The woman I love seems to doubt that, and thinks that being at arm's length is as near as I want to be.... and my garden's a mess. So forgive me if I seem to get a little touchy about shit like this happening. I know this will piss a couple of folk off.. I'm sorry, but NOT saying it was hurting me.
Thank you.
August 04 As promised, but a little bit laterSo...... what have I been upto? My usual response is "not a lot", but I seem to have done quite a bit lately.
Maybe some of it will interest you, maybe it won't. I interested me at the time, so I may as well write it all down and go from there.
In no particular order (mainly because I can't remember when things happened) here's a short run-down of some stuff I've done.
Last month was a good one for work. I had a huge job to do, and managed to finish it relatively easily. I do love my work. I enjoy it very much whilst it's going on. Unfortunately there hasn't been so much to do in recent months, but hopefully that will change before too long.
I went to a 21st birthday party of one of my mates from the Carry On forums of which I'm a member.
I've mentioned these forums several times before, but I never tire of saying how much fun we all have, both on the forums and off. Several times a year, many of us all meet up, from all over the world. Whether it's an official Carry On celebration at Pinewood Studios, or whether it's just a group of us meeting for a weekend of fun and frolics with a Carry On celebrity or two. We do have a great time. There's a great shindig coming up in September. About 30 of us are decending on Brighton (where they filmed a couple of Carry Ons; Girls, and At Your Convenience) where we shall spend the weekend and meet up with the stars of many films and TV shows; Bernard Cribbins, Kenneth Cope, Albert Moses and others.
I've made a lot of very dear friends from these events over the years, and I don't know a nicer bunch of people. Whether it's a big group of us, or just a small gathering, every meeting with these people is a joy. Like last weekend, I went to visit Dave and his wife, just down the road in Halifax. A couple of other Carry On forum members came over from Wales and Sheffield, and we had a couple of days just enjoying each others company over a can or 12.
Anyway, this 21st birthday party was for Dean. It was held in a mountain rescue lodge, about an hours drive north of Preston. Practically in the Lake District area. All his friends and family were there for the whole weekend, and we had a great time. Not least of all because there was no mobile phone signal, and so we had to make fun as a group. And as if we weren't having a ball already, we were entertained by the legend that is Ruby Diamond; Northern Lancashire's premier drag act. Don't ask. She/he/it was great fun, and made the weekend so very memorable.
The following week, I went down to London, where I met up with a couple of mates and had a few drinks. The main reason for going there was to visit the BBCTV Centre and watch a show being recorded. The show was "Jonathan Ross Salutes Dad's Army". You may have seen it broadcast on BBC1 last night. If not, it's repeated on BBC2 this coming Friday night. In the studio were all the living cast members of this great sitcom. Apart from Clive Dunn, who sent a recorded message from his home in Portugal. A lot was filmed which didn't make it into the final edit of the show, including several excellent attempts by the audience to sing the theme song from the show.
The day after the recording, I went around London's West End to indulge my other hobby of autograph collecting. I managed to meet a couple of celebrities at the stage doors to the theatres they were playing in. Whilst I was walking from Covent Garden to Soho, I saw a small film crew pointing a camera at a doorway. I stoped to look for a moment, and James May from BBC's Top Gear came through the door and did a short piece to camera. Needless to say, I went over for a quick word with him, and to get his autograph.
The only other autograph of any interest that I got that day was Sanjeev Bhaskar, from Goodness Gracious Me.
That stagedoor visit was weird in itself. When we arrived (me and my mate, Howard) we walked passed three armed policemen on the corner, about 10 feet from the stage door. Whilst we were chatting, I noticed that across the road were more police, including an officer holding a semi-automatic, and looking very threatening. Alas we couldn't see what on earth they could be there for. That is until I noticed over Howard's shoulder, that a few men were just leaving a building about 100 yards away, shaking hands and getting into cars. I recognised one of them. "Howard," I said, "There's Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister of England." He didn't believe me, so I made him turn around and look. Sure enough, there was the PM. He got into his car, and then, flanked front and rear by security vehicles, he drove straight past us stood at the stage door. He came within 3 feet of me. I was carrying a bulging shoulder bag, which could have contained anything, and nothing could have stopped me from throwing it at his car. Not even several heavily armed coppers, pointing guns at me. Needless to say, I didn't. I doubt very much my underwear and Dad's Army books would have caused a major diplomatic incident, but those coppers weren't to know that.
The week before Dean's party (I think) I went along to a theatre in Leeds for some autographs. The first one was Marc Almond of Soft Cell fame. I was stood waiting ages for him, chatting to another autograph collector. We were both there, watching out for him approaching the theatre. Imagine our surprise, when he comes OUT of the theatre, and jumps in a cab. Quick as a flash I shout, "Marc". Now, we all know about marc Almond, and obviously that knowledge worked in my favour. He just heard a bloke shouting his name, so he was bound to be curious.... and rather than close the cab door and drive off, he left it open, and signed our stuff, and was generally very pleasant.
Two days later there was an 80's music show on at the Grand Theatre. On the bill were Toyah, Curiousity Killed the Cat and Nick Heyward, of Haircut 100 fame. Whilst I was chatting to the stage door lady, trying to work out who was already in the theatre that I'd missed, Nick Heyward drove up in his VW Beetle. A white one with number 53 on it..... the full Herbie job. He popped his boot and was about to start unloading his gear. I thought I'd better get in quick for an autograph, before he has his hands full. He was very cheerful, and started to sign the record sleeve that I'd presented him with, when suddenly he stopped... mid-word. So I said to him, "Have you forgotten your name?" That always gets a smile, and this time was no exception. "No," he says, "I was going to write 'Cheers', but I think 'Chocolate' is nicer."
I reply, "Not in this weather. It gives people headaches." (it was quite sunny and warm)
We then had a little chat about the chocolates that he'd been scoffing on his drive to Leeds, when I said to him, "Oh stop it, I'm starving as it is."
He then reaches into his car, and takes out a box of crisp packets, and gives me a bag of low fat crisps. Now, I don't know about you, but I find it's very rare that a chart-topping singer ever offers me snackfoods from the boot of his car. Is that just me who finds that to be the case? Thought not. A surreal encounter indeed.
Well, there's a few other things I've done recently. Mostly hanging around stage doors and meeting people I respect and admire. People like, Prunella Scales, Toby Dale (Jim's son and bit-part actor in Carry On Columbus), Roxanne Pallett, Carry On actor Patrick Mower and a whole load of cast members, up at Emmerdale's studios, and Tommy Steele (although he snook out of the theatre, but not before signing his autobiography for me)
If I think of anything else, I'll let you know. Cheers.
July 28 ...a blast...
I might force myself to write a blog sometime tomorrow.
Recently, I've been to some nice places, done some nice things and met some nice people.
So, hopefully you'll enjoy reading about things like;
When I bumped into Top Gear's James May in Covent Garden.
When I scrounged a packet of crisps off of Haircut 100's Nick Heyward.
When I was recorded by BBC Television, singing the theme tune to Dad's Army.
When I was approached from behind by Marc Almond.
When I was nearly run over by a car carrying Gordon Brown.
...... and several other things.
Mind you, even if you don't enjoy reading such things, I'll still write them. Maybe. June 30 No... not herAs a best friend, she is great A living legend, she is great I don’t have to pretend she is great Because….
I love her so much, and it hurts My heart’s in her clutch, and it hurts I dream of her touch, and it hurts Because….
Most people can see how I feel It’s painful for me, how I feel So why can’t it be how I feel? Because….
As long as she knows, I’m okay Whilst my love for her grows, I’m okay I have to suppose I’m okay Because….
As a best friend, she is mine A pal to the end, she is mine Yet I have to pretend she is mine Because….
Just a few little bits I have on YouTube. Enjoy.
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